I’ve recently started shooting some outfit photos of my own, and by that I mean I’ve turned the camera on the super-talented photographer who snaps my outfit photos, Jeff Smith (“Giafrese”) who is also the sharply-dressed man behind the well-styled High Class, No Cash. If you’re looking to check out some great menswear style, I’d point my browser in his direction…and not just because I shot his outfit photos. He’s constantly exclaiming, “It’s $20!” when I ask how much he paid for something I want to jack off his person. Male or female, you always want to steal something off Jeff. He’s got great style.
These photos were taken on an afternoon where I was actually taking his photographs, and the sun streaming through the trees really inspired me to ask Jeff to turn the camera on me. It’s not something I would normally do, but I felt inspired. I had an inkling that I looked really happy…and I’m pleased with the results of these photos.
I do look really happy.
My friend Megan, who has known me since freshman year of college, said that she just wanted me to find out what made me happy. I can say that after years of trying to be everything I thought others wanted me to be, that I’ve really found it: blogging about my life, trying to help other women from making the mistake of not following what makes their hearts sing, and finally growing into my own skin has made me happier than I thought possible. It’s taken me this long to realize that’s exactly what I’ve been doing: I’ve broken through the chrysalis of growing into myself and now I have these big, beautiful wings.
I’m finally happy. Really, truly happy.
And it’s not about having a man in my life. It’s not about him. It’s about me. Because he could never have shown up if I hadn’t been able to look at- and LIKE – my own reflection. When he looks at me, he sees the same thing I see when I look in the mirror, and for the first time in ANY relationship we AGREE that we both like what we see. It’s made all the difference. He likes me, and I like myself. Kind of cool how that works.
I’m not saying that I won’t have challenges again; life just doesn’t work that way. I’ll handle what comes but on solid footing. I know myself well now, and I’m confident in my abilities to take things in stride. I know myself…that’s not something I’ve been able to say in a long time. I like that a lot.
But I wanted to have Jeff shoot these photos because I wanted to mark the moment. Diane Von Furstenberg has famously said, “I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be.” I understand that completely now. I know exactly what kind of woman I want to be…and I think Jeff did a great job of capturing her on film.