Our lives are literally fraught with worry on a daily basis if we let every single thing that could be wrong, not exactly perfect or fearful creep into our lives. Well, I want to relieve some of your stress. Ready? Here are 5 things that you never have to worry about again:
What size you wear – Go into a store and find some things you think you like. Try them on. If they don’t fit, Kanye shrug and leave. No, I’m serious. Just think to yourself, “You know, that really sucks for this store because they don’t cut clothes to fit me. They lost a sale.” YOU as a consumer have all the power. I wish more women understood that. Retailers have to provide the clothes you want to buy or they go out of business. Demand clothes that fit. End of story. And hey, if the number on the tag freaks you out, cut the tag off. See? No more stress. You have all the power in this situation. Enjoy it.
Oh, and if you run into unpleasant sales people, just remember this scene from Pretty Woman. After all, if they work on commission, being rude is a HUGE mistake. Huge. Big. Because you’ll just go buy your clothes somewhere else.
If the girl next to you in your exercise class is better than you – There’s a saying in yoga: “Stay on your own mat.” That means that you have to focus on yourself and turn inward or you will – mark my words – fall and find the entire experience intensely uncomfortable. Everyone else in the class is also trying not to fall, so they’re not looking at you. If you DO catch someone looking at you, they probably wish they had your boobs or your cute top. Also, catch someone who rocks at the class and ask them how they did it. They’ll be flattered and you’ll learn something. See? No more exercise stress.
Whether or not you have perfect skin – Folks, NO ONE HAS PERFECT SKIN. You know what gives you perfect skin? PHOTOSHOP. AIRBRUSHING. GREAT MAKEUP ARTISTS. Otherwise, you can have aspects of your skin that are fantastic, but perfection is just a magazine fantasy. As Dolly Parton’s character Truvvy said in Steel Magnolias, “Honey, time marches on, and you will come to realize that it’s marchin’ across your face.” At some point, add concealer, a bit of luminizer, moisturize and nourish it, wear sunscreen, and stop freaking out.
Whether or not your clothes are fashion-forward – I love Joan Rivers, but she has said – and I quote, ” I never make fun of anyone who can’t fight back. The girl doing the best she can on the street is amazing to me. Celebrities have stylists, attorneys and other people who should help them know better.” Turn off the fashion critic in your head and stop worrying if you’re going to wind up as a Glamour Don’t. I am in an industry that is a constant fight to see who is best dressed every single day. You know to win? Don’t play. Read about trends, adopt what you like, do what you want. Find what works for you and rock that look. The fact that you DON’T care makes you MORE fabulous.
Whether or not you’re hot, will get married, if guys like you or if he’ll call- Here’s one for the single gals. You know I told you I asked a guy out last week, right? Gave him my number. Waited for a week. No phone call. I saw him on Monday and he was officially The Rudest Person on Earth. Acted like I didn’t even exist. I gave myself one day to be upset about it, to lick my wounded ego. The next morning, I shrugged it off. You know why? THAT GUY IS AN IDIOT. I would be the most hilarious, fun date he had ever had. CLEARLY he is not the right guy to hang with me. Too bad, so sad, buh-bye. Ladies, you are HOT no matter what you THINK you look like. Once YOU realize you’re fabulous, then proceed to go out and have fun accordingly. It’s a process, not a trial by jury. Make things simple. See? No more love worries.
Whether or not anyone is watching you when you’re dancing – They are, but who cares? Do it anyway!