Valentine’s Day is coming, a holiday where everyone feels compelled to at least wear a little bit of red in celebration of love. Men put florists on speed dial, restaurant reservations are booked for week, a lot of jewelry is purchased and much lingerie will be found in odd places the morning of the 15th (“How did my bra get on top of the lamp?”) Singles will either spend the day hiding from evidence of the death of a gazillion rose bushes being delivered in front of their faces for a whole day or will be out meeting other people in a similar predicament in hopes that they, too, will find lingerie in a strange place the next day as well.
Whether you’re a “we” or a “me”, one thing is certain and that is that most of us are in love with love. Yet, most of us never make the most important step to preparing to have another enter our lives: we have to be our own Valentines first.
The concept is very simple and has nothing to do with material goods (although that necklace up there is SPECTACULAR.) If you have holes in your heart and things about your soul that aren’t “full,” you have to fill them yourself and not look to other people to fill them for you.
I’m talking about affection, real love, contentment, safety and peace of mind. If you can give these things to yourself, if you can show YOURSELF what your ideal love is like, you radiate that out there. Someone will inevitably pick up on that and I’ve seen many examples of the fact that they show up.
But let me be clear: it’s not always about doing things so that other people will show up. I know this is completely counter-intuitive to what the establishment says, but PLEASE turn off the stopwatch over your head that keeps nagging at you that you’re not getting any younger if you’re single. That is SUCH a destructive thing. Buy that apartment, get the diamond earrings for yourself, grab a great girlfriend and go to Bali on vacation. Travel by yourself, learn another language, heal the parts of your heart that are broken with experiences that reinforce that you know how to live your life. There is nothing pathetic or sad about living your life as you wish as a single person. There is great joy and freedom in doing the things that make you happy.
Because if you’ve ever been in a bad relationship, you know very well that having another body in the bed doesn’t mean that you don’t feel lonely or aren’t “alone.”
If you know instinctively how to treat your heart, if you set the example of how you wish to be loved, others have no choice but to follow suit. You teach other people how to treat you. Make sure that it’s Valentine’s Day every day all year for yourself.
Make the vow to yourself today. Be the love of your life.