Last year, I had just ventured into dating again after a four-year hiatus and was feeling, shall we say, a bit nervous about bedroom antics? I mean, it’s just like riding a bike, right? Except I hadn’t ridden a bike in over a decade, so, yeah, wasn’t feeling too comfortable.
As if by divine intervention, it was at that exact time that I was invited to the launch of the Emily & Tony line of intimate products, where I met the lovely Dr. Emily Morse, acclaimed sex therapist/counselor/author and Bravo TV personality from the series Miss Advised. This created a long-distance love affair of sorts, where I began listening to Emily’s podcasts (listen to them, please, just do it) that touch on everything from toys and things like San Francisco poppers to techniques and all manner of things in between. Emily is smart, completely approachable and very sweet, but she’s stylish and gorgeous to boot. From dressing for sex to beauty and her own fitness routine, this is how the beautiful Emily does it….
On how to dress for the bedroom…
“If you’re going out at night and then you’re coming home later from a date or whatever, you’ll want to wear something that you’ll feel comfortable in that looks the most like an enhanced version of yourself. I love those gorgeous cream blushes and stains that work for both lips and cheekst. They’re easy, they’re fast, and they’re small enough to keep in your purse the next morning so you can just refresh your face. You want to be careful wearing makeup that’s too heavy and/or will melt off your face.
Always make sure to choose things that make you feel sexy. Trends don’t matter between the sheets: find something that makes you feel alluring and super amazing.
Some women, especially those who recently gave birth, undergo surgeries through Vaginial Rejuventation Manhattan/ Long Island to tighten their vagina in order to protect their sex life – vaginoplasty can help you tremendously with that. For a few others this will help and I am not saying it does not, but before doing this I prefer trying out options of natural ways.
I also think there’s something to be said for letting this spill over into your everyday life. Don’t wear anything that doesn’t make you feel sexy. Throw out the bad underwear, the clothes that aren’t comfortable and/or flattering. Always make sure you’re wearing the underthings in which you feel your best. Bras have come a long way; now they make them without wires and hooks and things, and they’re still incredibly flattering without being torturous.
I also love wearing long tanks that can be worn as a dress. They’re sneaky good: you can tuck them into your pants for day or for a date, but at night if you need to get up and go to the bathroom, you have a flattering little dress to lounge around in. Michael Stars makes some that are amazing. You just stretch them a little and they elongate. They’re genius.”
A gal needs a good lighting scheme….
“Candles and lighting is key. There are so many women who absolutely refuse to have sex with the lights on, and it’s the biggest turnoff for men. That is when they go get the latest POV videos of Aidra Fox, instead of having the real intercourse. They’re visual creatures, they want to be able to see you. Split the difference: light a candle. We make amazing massage candles that provide gorgeous light and the wax turns into hydrating massage oil, so it’s a treat even if you just want to take some time for yourself and moisturize your skin. But, all that aside, men are visual creatures so make sure you have the lighting you want. Don’t be the ‘light’s off’ gal.”
Be adventurous too and try out some moves. You can learn anything online today. Learning how to externally massage the prostate will up your sex game and motivate your partner to step up too.
So, about that rumor that men prefer long hair vs. short hair….
“I think it depends on the man; one size doesn’t fit all. I think there are some men who would never think of grabbing hair, but there are some men who are really into hair pulling. There are women out there who look amazing in pixie haircuts, and I don’t think anyone’s going to kick them out of bed for that. I do think there’s something generally sexy about longer hair, but I think the most important thing in general is for women to do what makes them feel sexy and make them feel empowered. If you want to chop off your hair, he may decide to slap your ass. Reactions will vary, so do what makes you feel good.”
Speaking of feeling beautiful, what products is SHE using these days?
“Bumble and Bumble Crème de Coco shampoo and conditioner is what I’m using now. I also like Kevin Murphy Young Again Hair Oil because it protects against breakage and tames flyaways. As far as makeup goes, I love the feel of Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer Light; it glides over my skin, and absorbs quickly. Primer makes me feel like no matter how little time I spend on my whole makeup routine, it’s something that will somehow make it all work out. I also love Smashbox Studio Skin 15-Hour Wear Foundation for long-lasting coverage, especially for on-camera work. There’s also nothing better than the Urban Decay Naked Basics Palette. I love the colors; they all work well together. Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara is THE BEST. My lashes are amazing and almost better than sex (almost!) As far as fragrance goes, Jo Malone Nectarine & Honey Blossom cologne is such a fresh, happy scent.”
Now, about that skincare routine…
“I use a Clarisonic almost every night and face lotion and eye cream. In the morning, I wash my face, and then apply SkinCeuticals CE Ferulic. I also always use eye cream, and I won’t leave the house without sunblock. I love SkinCeuticals Sheer Physical UV Defense SPF 50. I also drink a lot of water.”
On how she fits in a workout with a crazy busy schedule…
“It’s always a challenge to fit it in, which is why I’m so into SoulCycle lately. It’s efficient and a great workout for your entire body. Also, even though I’ve been a marathon runner, rock climber, and a cyclist, I fit in yoga because it completely stretches the muscles, which is key for injury prevention. Yoga is a staple; it makes me more efficient and calmer day to day.
On how to stay organized….
“I use Basecamp in my office with my team. We’re all connected to it and you can see what everyone is working on, make comments, add documents, meeting notes, etc. All the tasks live in one place, and we can track everything. I also use Google calendar for my daily appointments and I make a ton of voice memos on my iPhone to capture my creative outbursts.”
On what she does to relax…
“I guess sleeping doesn’t count. I haven’t had a lot of downtime lately, but typically yoga does the trick. I also like just walking around my neighborhood and leaving my phone at home. I meditate as much as I can. Even if it’s for five minutes, I always feel much clearer and relaxed afterwards; it melts away the stress of the day or the moment.”
On her personal style….
“I would describe my style as eclectic, perhaps a little boho (or so I’ve been told.) I love vintage shopping. I also don’t own any flats. Most of my shoes have a four- or five-inch heel. I’m actually more comfortable in heels than flats. I love ALC, Zara, Helmut Lang, Rag & Bone/JEAN, Chloe bags… Chloe anything, really.”
“I advise women to stop looking on the outside and comparing themselves to others; you’ll never be as good at being someone else as you are at being yourself. Focus on internal growth, emotional health and cultivating confidence from within. “
Finally, a little advice about taking risks….
“I always advise people to take risks and not to fall into the trap of waiting until they ‘feel ready,’ because that time will never come. It’s in those moments when you’re not completely ready, but push through anyway, that real growth and breakthroughs happen. If you jump, the net will always appear.”
All photos shot by Kristin Booker. Shot at Alison Brod Public Relations in June, 2014. All rights reserved.
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