Get Healthy/ Mind Body Spirit
Kristin Booker • March 12, 2014

You Can’t Fit You and Your Ego On Your Yoga Mat

Photo: Giafrese

Photo: Giafrese

So, I’m going to admit to something I don’t think most people like to say: I cried in yoga class last week.

Part of the issue was sheer frustration with my workout schedule. As someone who used to have way more control over her schedule, I was entirely too spoiled. Granted, I still HAD a schedule, which didn’t mean that I spent my days watching daytime television and throwing up the random blog post in between workouts. What it did mean was that I could schedule my day around my workouts at random times during the day. I used to make Bergen’s Core Fusion Cardio class at exhale Central Park South with religious fervor every Tuesday at 8:30 AM. Lauren’s yoga class at 12:30 on Fridays was a rock around which my weekends were structured. I was master of my schedule, and I was much further along in my weight loss goals as a result.

But last week, after struggling to get to class a couple of times and having to cancel and reschedule everything because of work (like everyone else on earth, I realize this) I sort of…well, I just cracked. Because my ego decided to join me on the mat and shove at me, telling me that I used to be able to hold this pose and do this move and look how soft I am now. I admit it: I started to cry.

And then I shoved my ego off my mat and slowed down. Because realizations like that come up when you’re hanging upside down with nowhere to go but inside your mind. It wasn’t the workout schedule that was making me nuts. It’s me looking for ways to be really hard on myself, to take myself out of the game. My new schedule is what it is. The client is insanely demanding. Which means that when the going gets tough, the successful adapt. If it means that I get up at 6 am to make a 7 am class, that’s what has to get done. Goodbye, nighttime tv. Hello, DVR and hitting the sack at 10 pm.

Ego, there’s not enough room on the yoga mat for both of us. It’s a private party and the only one invited is me.

And I’ve realized that I’m actually not starting over. I’m starting right where I am, and that’s more than okay with me. Inner critic silenced and with a new resolve, it looks like my sun salutations will actually meet the sunrise now in order to meet my goals and take care of myself.

Looking forward to it. Namaste, baby. Let’s do this.



One Response to You Can’t Fit You and Your Ego On Your Yoga Mat

  1. Kaitlyn Hester-del Bianco says:

    I freaking love you. And I hate it when my ego gets to me on the mat, especially when I get stuck in a rut of comparing myself to other more advanced practitioners during class. I just have to always remind myself that I am where I am NOW and I’m working towards a better me, and that’s all that matters! <3

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Want more FSB in your life? Sign up for the newsletter (which includes subscriber-only BONUS content) and I'll come straight to your inbox!