As someone who JUST posted on this site about a pair of skinny jeans, I have to make this a true confessions type of evening: they sort of scare me.
Don’t get me wrong. I literally worked my ass off to get into a pair, but today I was faced with a strange problem I’ve never had before: I was going to finally try on a pair of these super-skinny, slinky, waxed denim pair of jeans that look like leather pants I’ve been COVETING.
Folks, taking that haul of waxed denim in sizes I’ve never considered wearing caused me to break into a sweat in the dressing room. My deodorant started to fail from SHEER STRESS. I stared at those jeans for a really, really long time before I started trying them on. In a size 29. Which is FOUR SIZES SMALLER than where I started out in 2011.
There is something about trying on a pair of pants that aren’t forgiving in any way that is like an episode of Fear Factor. I would rather harness myself to a helicopter and smash through a construction site than try on a pair of skintight, flaw-enhancing pants. Yet, today, I did it because I realized that I had to get over this ridiculous fear and find the right pair of waxed leather pants. Because I REALLY wanted a pair.
I think after having been almost 100 lbs heavier, I will ALWAYS have a part of me that sees myself as a fashion interloper, someone who is masquerading as a thinner person who can wear those types of clothes. In reality, I AM a dedicated fashion person and I busted my butt (again, literally) to get into these fitted clothes that are truly suited for people like Emmanuelle Alt and Mick Jagger. I have worn baggy and shapeless for too long. It’s time to show off the goods.
And so today, I conquered my fear of skinny jeans by purchasing a gorgeous pair of waxed skinnies. The winning pair is a pair of Rag & Bone Mid-Rise 10″ Denim Leggings, which are super fitted and the mid-rise is a great option for girls like me with a little more junk in the trunk. The size? 29, baby.
The reason I wrote this is to tell you that everyone has something fashion or beauty-related that scares them to death, but you really have to give it a try. When you’re faced with that moment of trying on the dream item, a moment of panic will cross your mind about whether or not it will fit, especially if you’ve tried to get into something similar when you weren’t feeling good about yourself. Honor that thought…and then tell it to suck it. Try it on and find what you love in a size that fits you and go on about your life.
I’ll even go one step further and wear my newly-found , very fitted pants to Fashion Week and take some photos in them so you can see what I mean. Sometimes it’s understanding that it’s not about those pants or that dress – it’s about accepting that this is you, putting yourself out there and trying on a whole new life.
And this is me, right now, about to put myself out there. For all of us out there, trying to make these changes for ourselves, let’s raise a toast this Friday night and cheer ourselves on! We’re making it happen and a little something like Fear ain’t gonna stop us.