It’s time again for Friday Fun Time, where I say all sorts of things that no one should really say out loud but you THINK IT ALL THE TIME. Today’s edition is specifically for the holidays. Let’s get ‘er going, shall we?
1) Holiday shopping should NOT inspire violence. I will never understand news reports of women who pepper spray people over an XBox or that woman who will literally cuss you out over a scarf. People, it’s JUST merchandise. If you can’t handle yourself like an adult, stay home and shop online. There is nothing “cool” about screaming at someone over a scarf or punching someone in the face over a toy. Plus, anger causes wrinkles. Not cute.
2) The holiday season is not a reason to let your inner slut come out to play. I don’t know why holiday parties and New Year’s Eve have the same effect that Halloween does, where people take it as a license to turn things into the fashion equivalent of a Las Vegas episode of Girls Gone Wild. Hot does not equal slutty. Feel free to add one daring piece that gives people a sneak peek of what’s underneath, but don’t take this as a reason to show off all the goods. Oh, and watch the alcohol. Flirting under the mistletoe is fab, but climbing your co-worker in a drunken haze will only come back to haunt you. Plus, if you throw up on your dress, your dry cleaner will hate you.
3) If your makeup looks like Kim Kardashian in the daytime, it’s too much. I’ve interviewed her and she’s a sweetheart, but even SHE knows when to take the drag makeup down a notch. There is another setting on your makeup mirror lighting and it’s called “Daylight.” If the sun is going down (which happens at 4:30 this time of year, so you’re in luck) go all out on the fake lashes and sooty bedroom eye. But it you’re in line at Starbucks and there’s a morning program on tv, you look like a reality wannabe and it’s not ok.
4) You can look fabulous for holiday parties without buying anything new. There are 365 days in a year and the holidays are stressful enough without feeling like you need a wardrobe to compete with Faye Fabulous who seems to have an endless supply of gorgeous clothes. Get yourself a fabulous black dress and change your accessories every time you wear it and just see if someone notices it’s the same thing. If you wear it with statement earrings one night and a colorful wide belt one night, then don a dazzling statement necklace and colored tights and shoes the next time (red on red is always a winner) no one will know.
5) Christmas sweaters are a plague on our planet. There is NO SUCH THING as a flattering Christmas sweater and we have enough issues 360+ days of the year to have a wardrobe of clothes that make us look good to hold onto to a joke item that has only the sole purpose of making us appear frumpy and ridiculous. Gather your friends and loved ones and take these to a bonfire pit someone in your local town and BURN THEM ALL.
Ok, enough said. What makes YOU a little nuts over the holidays? Let’s dish! Let me know in the comments section.