So, here I am: 80 lbs. lost, 20 more to go. Feeling pretty good, doing a little superiority dance in my head, when my boyfriend becomes the mirror I can’t avoid and says:
“Why did you stop posting outfit photos on the site?”
Now, there are a lot of answers to this question. I could say I wanted them to really mean something (which I do) and I didn’t want to feel like my clothes always had to be new (also true.) But the biggest part of this is that it’s been a while since I’ve wanted my photo taken.
More to the point, I didn’t really feel good about the way I looked. I know that sounds really superficial; maybe it is. But, even people who get in front of the camera a lot have periods of time where we just don’t feel like we look that great in photographs. And I haven’t for a while. It’s totally true.
But recently something has changed and I’m ready to start shooting again. It’s not that I’m that much thinner. It’s not that I’ve gotten a new wardrobe or that I’ve even done something to my hair (which I’m about to….there’s a MAJOR change coming in short order, and that’s all I can say about it.)
Nope. All those workouts, all those times I’m able to balance on my arms in yoga, those moments where I can keep my leg lifted off the floor in Core Fusion and those minutes where I’m killing it on the bike in SoulCycle – they’ve all led me to a new evolution in my personal history…
I’ve realized I’m kind of a badass.
Hear me out on this one. Do you put on the Big Girl Pants to get yourself to a workout? You’re a badass. Do you flip the finger at the processed carb aisle even though it would be easy and fast so you can get to the salad bar? WORK IT, you badass, you. Every single time I get up at 5:30 am to make a 7 am workout, every time I treat myself with time with my friends or a nap instead of stressing myself out over doing something I don’t want to do, I revel in my badassness. I’m so excited about these new muscles (Lucky Guy pointed out I have a vein running down my right arm that I’ve never had before and you’d have thought he told me I had Jennifer Lopez’ rear end, I was so excited) that I’m newly invigorated to show ’em off. I feel GOOD about myself, better than I have in a really, really long time. I’m excited to put myself out there again. And so, soon enough, you’ll see what I mean.
But it inspired me to create a new Motivation Mix for this week inspired by that inner strength. Do you need to psyche yourself up? Do it. Here you go. Because from Natalia Kills to The Chemical Brothers all the way to the Foo Fighters and Jay-Z, this is about all of us realizing how amazing we are. Don’t just stand there: go show the world what you can do.
You are a badass. Show it off!