I was walking home from a meeting last night, strolling down 2nd Avenue when a sight so chilling and disturbing stopped me dead in my tracks. A mugging? No. A murder? Not even close. No, this was a crime against womankind so upsetting that I almost called the Fashion Police. Please do see the heinous offense above, seen in a window at Urban Outfitters.
Now, granted I am not the target market for Urban Outfitters when it comes to clothes. I admit that. I’m an interloper at best. I pop in and by cute items for my apartment and occasionally a fun book, accessory and an item of clothing here and there. But this outfit is so scary that I had to post my first rant EVER on this site. Someone in this store really has some angst to work out because the very suggestion of this outfit is a statement that the window designer is in serious need of a hug.
People, let’s break this down. This is a chambray work shirt buttoned up to the very top with the sleeves rolled and TUCKED INTO a body-hugging long tube skirt with WIDE AWNING STRIPES. I don’t care how skinny you are, this outfit is a CRIME AGAINST NATURE. No one – I repeat, NO ONE – will ever look good in this outfit.
This look is acceptable ONLY if you had to escape a burning building and these were the only two items of clothing you could salvage before saving your pet and racing to safety. At no other time is this look acceptable. Ever.
Chambray is a very hard color to pull off for most people because they have a tendency to be rather boxy and wash you out. Then there’s that skirt. Wide horizontal stripes are meant for two things and two things only: patio furniture and flags. Otherwise, leave them alone.
And what the Hell is that across the neck? Is that nautical rope? Oh my God…make it STOP.
I’d love to see that chambray work shirt under a black blazer or leather jacket paired with cool white jeans. I wouldn’t advise the skirt but if you HAVE TO wear it and can’t control yourself, a long tank with a cute little cross body bag and embellished sandals would be adorable.
Please, PLEASE do not look at outfits like this in a window and attempt to mimic them. This outfit is just WRONG.
Shame on you, Urban Outfitters.