There is always a point in our lives, a fork in the road that all of us eventually hit. We’re just tootling along, and BAM, there’s a decision to be made. Do we turn left, or do we turn right?
Some of us might decide we’re not going to decide. We set up base camp at this proverbial fork, maybe a little indoor plumbing.
We sit back and watch the updates on Facebook of all the people who decided to turn left or turn right at their own forks in the road, possibly throwing a few compliments here and some negative comments there depending on our moods. We’ll just stay here where it’s safe, thanks. None of that road-less-traveled crap for us.
All of us reach these decision-making points in our lives where we know it’s time to change. We know it in the core of our being. It’s like walking around in an outfit or shoes that are just too tight: suddenly, everything is uncomfortable, irritating, pinching, and miserable. I’ve been there before. Wow, have I been there. I know this place. I feel like I have strong real estate holdings in this location, what we’ll call What the Hell Do I Do Now Place.
Change is terrifying. Whether you’re causing it, thinking about causing it, or in the middle of it, ripping comfort away for growth is never a good feeling. That’s what it feels like, right? The sensation of having been under comfy blankets or the most amazing outfit ever, and suddenly it’s not so comfortable, but it’s better than nothing, and OH MY GOD WHY IS IT SO COLD WHERE IS MY SAFETY BLANKET?!?
We will stay in situations we loathe just because they’re familiar. It’s why we have a closet full of clothes we don’t love or don’t fit us properly because there’s a chance that someday that thing will look good on us or fit again. We stay in relationships because we love that person and maybe they’ll change. We stay in jobs we hate out of obligations, guilt, shame, promises made, etc. We skip going to the gym because through some mystical force of willpower we’ll go tomorrow. Meanwhile, nothing changes, but at least it’s familiar.
Having been on both sides, I’m going to encourage you to take the leap into change. Will it be comfortable? No. Will you love it? Maybe not at first.
Will it be worth it? Yes.
As someone who has done this a few times, and is about to do it again, I can say that nothing about making major life change is comfortable. It’s downright terrifying. People in your life change. Your location might change. Your financial or career grounding might change. You might find yourself awake at 5 am to get to the gym grumbling about how badly it sucks. I have been in all these places, and one by one, these things get better. But you must endure the discomfort to get to your next level of comfort, the one you can only dream about right now.
If you think about it, everything good is on the other side of discomfort. Fact: life has some pain in it. If you know at the core of your being that you’re either going to make some changes or remain in this state of dissatisfaction forever, I’m going to encourage you to be satisfied. Grit your teeth, take the first step, and get going.
Because here’s the thing no one is telling any of us: we’re not here in this life to be comfortable; we’re here because we’re meant to be whole.
What whole looks like for you might be different than you friend or the people you see on Instagram. What whole means for you is entirely your own definition. However, all of us are meant to reach a level of self-knowledge and self-love where we know ourselves intimately and do what’s best for ourselves and other women. That discomfort you feel is because you’ve outgrown the skin you’re in; you’re done here. Right here, right now, in this point in life, you have done everything you were meant to do. It’s time to evolve, become bigger, become better. What does that mean? Only you know, but know this: every day you wait is just more time you could be spending reaching that next level of happiness. Again, scary, yes, but why not try something new?
Pain is inevitable in this life; suffering is optional. Change is painful, but the suffering of staying in a space that doesn’t really feel good anymore? That’s a self-imposed Hell. Don’t do that to yourself. You’re worth more than that.
Time to shake it up, doll face. Consider this your official permission slip to change.